Unveiling Overlooked Ways Mothers of Children with Special Needs Engage in Self-Sabotage
In my coaching practice for mothers with kids with special needs, I often witness a significant amount of self-sabotage. I am super guilty of this myself! Each point below has served as a set back to my own progress, and I fully grasp how challenging it can be, especially when we are tired, burnt out, and overwhelmed by life. When we reach the end of our rope, we tend to adopt unhealthy habits that sabotage our progress. Interestingly, we perceive these habits as a way to keep ourselves safe, though they actually cause multiple issues, such as guilt for doing something we didn't want to do, leading to even more self-sabotage. Understanding why we engage in self-sabotage can be incredibly difficult. It really can become a mess.
The only person who can truly impede your progress is you. So, if things feel stuck or are stalling, see if any of the below habits are causing you issues.
1. Sharing Plans with Unsupportive People
The worst part is not necessarily what they say, but the disapproving look on their faces. You know the feeling? It's the worst. Identify individuals who genuinely support you and keep your circle tight. While sharing your plans can create momentum, only share them with those who fully support you. This step is crucial; keep your ideas and goals sacred. If someone is unsupportive, make a mental note for the future. Be intentional about the people you surround yourself with because we are a reflection of those closest to us.
2. Halting Progress Right Before Momentum Starts
Mothers, especially those who love researching, often switch directions just when things start moving in the right direction. While constant research is important, it can have a dark side. Many moms quit when things get a bit challenging and move on to something else before they have a chance to see if it’s working or not. Commit fully to your chosen path for a predetermined period, so you know you've given it your all.
3. Avoiding Asking for Help
Mothers of children with special needs deserve and require more help than anyone else on the planet. The resilient mothers are adept at seeking help from family, friends, and communities. Everyone has a role to play, and most people feel good when helping others—it's human nature. While you may believe you can do it best, your child will benefit from interactions with others. As long as safety is the top priority, your child is secure. It's far better for you to have the time to be healthy than to burn out thinking you can do it all.
I hope you found that helpful! Share with your favorite mom who has a child with special needs to spread the love.
